if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
