All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
