u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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