I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
