Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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