I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
