So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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