we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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