You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
