I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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