well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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