It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
