Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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