I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
