Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
