She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
there is glitter all over my balls
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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