dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i would punch a child for taco bell
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
