I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
