i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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