yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
