Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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