woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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