then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
