I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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