Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
