she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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