A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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