its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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