I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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