i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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