The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
