Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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