Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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