Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
