I heard we made out
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
