Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
