Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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