The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My pussy is not your playground.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
