I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
