I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
