dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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