She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
