I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
