He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
