Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
