You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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