Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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