Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
