I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
