I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
